The World As Seen By Mikey Gatal

boy, don’t cry

Dearest,

When was the last time you cried yourself to sleep? Not that I long for you to be emotionally distressed, enough for you to shed tears… Remember, you used to tell me, “Such a beautiful release it is to strum one’s emotional strings; to bathe naked one’s soul with the swelling eyes.”

Yes, it truly is human nature. Mama’s babe cries hard upon his first choking gasp of air—and I guess, it pays, sometimes to be mummy’s teary eyed grown-up. It brings back a sense of a new beginning—much like a re-birth.

But it’s hard isn’t it?

In this contemporary time when many are in physical, emotional, spiritual, social and even internal pain, and many thus find a sense of comfort in sobbing, shouldn’t I be thankful that I haven’t had found reason to cry?

As I grow older, I feel more fortified from the “sea of emotions” that I once attributed to life. Innocence lost leads to numbing out, I guess. It’s no pretty picture, but right now it is what I see.

I feel like singing now:
Hush little baby don’t you cry, mama’s go’nna buy you a Mocking Bird.
And if that Mocking Bird don’t mock, mama’s go’nna buy you a diamond ring.

Matter more than ideas has concerned me a lot lately. Not that I am focusing my energies into making myself rich. No sir! But, I hadn’t had the luxury of time to breathe-in figments. I miss doing this.

I remember myself cry every time I finish writing something which truly reflects my ideas– but not lately. No time even to write. How come, when I have owed much from this art, why have I deliberately allowed myself to find a block… a valid reason not to attempt writing.

The obsession of material concerns have taken control over subliminal forms of compulsion: crying, writing, deep-breathing, praying… keeping attuned with self. I truly miss my self.

Perhaps, it’s not just me. Maybe even you, my dearest, had you had time to cry whilst someone goes to buy you something so you could just hush… Be a child. Pretend that your diamonds do not glitter. Cry your heart out.

Four weeks have passed since we had this emotional separation.Finally, it is no longer painful. Tomorrow it’s gonna be new year’s eve. Am I glad to have slipped on the bathroom floor, though I didn’t cry because of pain, I was forced to have time to my self… and finally, write. But not cry =)

People say,real friend is hard to find,

and even to some it’s like looking for gold in the mine.

I guess God was quite gracious to me,

with little instructions He said,”My child just wait and see”.

It did not take too long for God to reveal,

the friend destined for me to feel.

The friendship that i have been seeking all my life,

was to be found if i’d look into the light.

With a gentle touch on my neck,

it gave me chills when i learned that his name was Hec.

And that very moment on i knew,

real friendship was in you!

I am over my friendship with you because you are just not a good friend.
I wish I could say this to you directly, but you won’t listen. And even if you did, it would probably just push you further away. Still, there is no other way to explain it. It is buddies and friendship — unmatched, but I do not care. I have nothing left to lose with you.

Those last things you said to me — they were not you. I know deep down you are so much better than that. You were scared and frustrated, and that is understandable after some of the things you have been through. But that was not you. You are a wonderful person with so much potential, if you would only take a chance and allow yourself to feel the things you are scared of. But instead you are letting your fears control you.

I know you believe things were meant to unfold this way. Bad timing, not meant to be — whatever you want to call it. I have moved on, and you have too. Still, I will always be here for you, if you decide that is what you want. It is never too late to make things better. Just reach out to me, and we can start over.

Yusuke.SAYONARA…ARIGATO!

it was almost midnight that i had a surprise of my life from a good friend Yusuke, he brought food and presents. he made a last minute cooking preparations and made it special just to celebrate my bday(November 1) with him,how sweet this guy is and i thought my birthday would be as dull as a thud like what i felt earlier in the day!thank you Yusuke for making my birthday memorable and hope we always keep this way,very close and no fightings!

my very special friend Hector wasn’t around to greet me on my special day that’s why at the start of the day i was kinda lonely and i just accepted the fact that he’s so far away to visit his mom and i know in spirits he was with me.i did not know that he left a bday card for me and i thank him for that!

i know someone out there understood…the feelings that i have felt the past few days. though, i had an argument with my love one today but no worries,we patched things up right away… all’s well that ends well and thank goodness.

i am happy to let you know that i am just very happy today and please think of the positive things that happened for me and that God is always there to guide and listen to me and to all who needs His help,don’t hesitate!

i love you all,

Mikey

September 7,2007 when we left for las vegas with Hector and Yusuke!

  i have been in Las Vegas many times and every time i visited the strip
it's  always been a memorable one and this last trip was no exception
and you know why? two of my friends who are very close with each travelled with
me,namely Hector and Yusuke!
  they say that three is a crowd but not to us because we are so close and
have known each other very well even Yusuke is just a new found
friend!we had so much fun in Las Vegas from the moment we checked in @
Bally's Hotel & Casino, we hurried up to change outfits as i usually
like to do for pictorial purposes, hahaha,then go straight to the slot
machines and luckily one of us won for we have something to pay for our
dinner buffet!
  on the second day, before we ate lunch at the Flamingo Hotel,my friend
Yusuke helped me in experimenting a new hairstyle and as you can see in
the picture i am sporting a new look! (nakuryentahan look?)hahaha but
you be the judge if i look good,ok?)
  as soon as we reached the hotel's restaurant, we asked about the price
of the buffet and i backed out because it's $25.00 each person and i
said to them i'd rather eat at mcdonald's and spend  5 bucks only,they
did not stop me and what shall i do?
  i passed by the casino and each time i pass a slot machine,someone hit's
the jackpot and the second one too, so, i decided to try my luck at the
3rd aisle and randomly played one of the slot machines and voila, i hit
the jackpot as well, i was so happy and i returned to my friends right
away at the buffet and showed them the money,they were shocked and from
then on we decided to go on shopping spree at the Designer's Outlet Mall
and i bought them something to remember from my winnings and i said to
myself that's it for me and never played again for that day!by the way,
we promoted the website, by wearing the www.mikeygatal.com shirt
everytime we went bar hopping and i strike a pose ala Chippendale style
too @ Rio's Hotel!
  lastly,it's not about the money but the beautiful friendship that
blossomed into a wonderful relationship between the three of us that
matters most and life is too short,so make the most out of it,ok?

i love you all,

mikey

"I posted the below message on myspace and found it very therapeutic.

Yesterday, September 3rd we lost our baby girl, my niece, Kirstie Lyn

Stewart. She passed away in her sleep. This little girl had so much

personality and was talented. She just completed her first week of

school - this was her last year in junior high school before she went on

to high school. She made cheer again this year and thought she was

running with the "big guns" in junior high school. Kirstie was a

friendly little girl with soooo many friends. Kirstie was always

listening to music, dancing (the kid was always bouncing off the walls

with energy), on the phone with her friends and always making her faces

(like her uncle Anthony).I can't believe she's gone.

The only comforting thoughts I have is that she's with my grandparents

and my godmother and she's being looked after well."

“Negative pressure knows no boundaries for it is always there. It leads us to the path of destruction. It binds us to bad influences which later we initiate them ourselves. As we strive for a positive view of life, trials pave way for us to handle tough decisions which may lead to our downfall or may lead to become a new person. In my life, I had been to many negative pressures and went to tough paths crossing the road of peer pressure.

When I was in my first year in high school, I was influenced by colleagues to start smoking. Days passed by and it turned into a bad habit. Whenever we had lunch at our tambayan which was the “Nipa Hut”, I would light one and just smoke even if I didn’t know how to smoke. I would puff in front of them as if trying to fit in the group. But this bad habit soon ended as my mother caught some tobacco bits in the pocket of my polo as I went home from school. Then she would interrogate me and I told lies just to cover up this bad habit saying that those were just peanut bits. But knowing that my mother is an expert in those things and as some people say, mothers knows best because of their “sixth sense”. She caught me in that instant and as my father knew about it, he got mad and I never did it again.

As we transferred to Bohol, I became oriented with the “Visayan-speaking clans”. Many events occurred which led me to many wrongdoings and negative pressures.

When I started as a sophomore at this school, bad start-ups where not far because when you are new in school, expect people to envy you and some who would be nice to you. Well’ in the first five weeks in school was a tough one. I heard that a group of male students wanted to have a piece of me because of my bag. Well I could say, at that time, this kind of bag fad was the most popular fad in town. Many would kill for this kind of bag. As I became aware of it, I used that bag as I entered school everyday. Well what I hoped for came one day when me and my friends got out of class to have recess, as we walked through the corridors, this tall and dark guy blocked our way with his friends looking at me, I was so terrified and rushed outside looking for my uncle and cried in front of him. Then he and his friends brought me back to the room and confronted that boy who was so desperate to kick me.

After that incident, no one ever dared to touch me. I guess it made me stronger at one point.

Another situation was when I introduced myself to opposite peers and met this beautiful girl who was then the muse of the freshmen. Everytime I see her, I would always greet her. But I wasn’t sure of myself because it was my first time to actually court a girl and because of what clearly entered in my mind was that this hottie was lined with suitors and I was just a newbie. But I still pursued myself to her and we became closer, we went out together with friends. One time while I was waiting for her, there was this another guy harassing my friend and so I told him to stop. He came near me and he said that he will wait for me after class. But I didn’t mind him because this beautiful girl arrived and went to me and just talk and laugh together.

As classes ended, me and a friend went out to grab merienda in a snakhaus. Just as we were about to leave the campus, two guys grabbed me side by side and we went to a vacant lot and there waited, this rejected suitor who wanted to have a duel with me. So without hesitation, I went to him and wanted to stop this nonsense and just talk to him. But because of desperation, he tried to give a punch but instead created a scratch on my face and I threw a punch over his left eye. Then a struggle aroused between us. The fight ended when this pastor picked us up. We shook our hands and ended this feud. The next day came and we had our scouting session, as classes ended, me and my friends went out to eat. This girl hurried to meet me because of the news she heard about a fight. She comforted me and even treated me for snacks. Then the rest of the days turned out to be a wonderful time.

As I reached my senior years, I was put to a test when I was suspended for a week because I was caught drunk by a teacher. It was my first time to drink alcoholic beverages. As we were suspended, we were divided into two groups. One group were to clean the corridors and the other were to clean the restrooms and all other rooms. It was an experience which I faced that marked a difference.

Peer pressure marks a difference in our lives. We react to situations and choose what’s weighed lightly.

When I was in my college years, these were the times when I began as an alcohol-drinker. I involved myself in fraternities and later into drug addiction. One mistake was that I never learned to say No to influences that came and it paved way for me to go to wrong direction than what I had hoped for. As I reflected upon past experiences that happened in my life. I realized that it hadn’t made me any greater person or a successful one. I lost the trust of my parents who were always there for me in hard times and in good times, guided me to life and growth, supported my dreams, gave me a better life which I deserved to have.

As I walk away from this bad yesterday, the chance I could only have now, to be better in life and to gain the trust and make my parents proud is to finish my studies. Give it to the fullest in days that I had wasted and leave bad memories behind, to regain my self-confidence and earn the love of my mom and dad.

What I learned is that God is always there for us and parents are the instruments for which they would make us better persons that we could be. Striving for positive pressure begins with obedience at home and learning to say No.”

dearest friend Hector,

wishing you happy happy happy birthday and good health always.

best friend forever,

“Mikey”